Snarky Harry Potter Moments That Didn't Make it to The Movies

Author image for Meeeeesh
Meeeeesh
Mar 28, 2022 9:35 AM EDT

Alright alright, let's just get this out of the way: JK Rowling isn't anyone's favorite person right now.  She's been spreading some serious hate and we ar really disappointed to see that a writer who preaches acceptance and love would go back on her word. It's an unfortunate situation, but it's not one that will have too much of an influence on our love for the Harry Potter series anytime soon. Those books pretty much made up our childhood. Waiting in long lines at Barnes & Noble for the books to drop (you know people were in costume), spending two whole days (or less) finishing the book we had been waiting for patiently - for eons. All the magic, despite JK Rowling's bullshit, feels alive in our old souls. If you are similarly attached to the fantastical series, you'll probably appreciate these sassy and snarky moments from the books. They may not have made their way into the movies, but they're definitely worthy of some respect.

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  • 01
    Photo caption - "And what if I wave my wand and nothing happens?" "Throw it away and punch him in the nose," suggested Ron. - The Philosopher's Stone
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  • 02
    Text - "Where is Wood?" said Harry, suddenly realizing he wasn't there. "Still in the showers," said Fred. "We think he's trying to drown himself." - The Prisoner of Azkaban
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  • 03
    Photo caption - "I am not joking, Mr. Weasley," he said, "though now that you mention it, I did hear an excellent one over the summer about a troll, a hag and a leprechaun who all go into a bar -" - The Goblet of Fire
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  • 04
    Photo caption - "Lockhart'll sign anything if it stands still long enough." - The Chamber of Secrets
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  • 05
    Photo caption - "My own brother, Aberforth, was prosecuted for practising inappropriate charms on a goat. It was all over the papers, but did Aberforth hide? No, he did not! He held his head high and went about his business as usual! Of course, I'm not entirely sure he can read, so that may not have been bravery." - The Goblet of Fire
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  • 06
    Photo caption - Aat. - "Is it true that you shouted at Professor Umbridge?" - "Yes" said Harry. - "You called her a liar?" - "Yes." - "You told her He Who Must Not Be Named is Back?" - "Yes." Professor McGonagall sat back down behind her desk, frowning at Harry. Then she said "Have a biscuit, Potter." The Order of the Phoenix
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  • 07
    Photo caption - "I suppose she thinks you don't forget your name. But we're not stupid – we know we're called Gred and Forge." - The Philosopher's Stone
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  • 08
    People - He seems like a very good teacher", said Hermione approvingly. "But I wish I could have a turn with the boggart -- "What would it have been for you?" said Ron, sniggering, "A piece of homework that only got nine out of ten?" - The Prisoner of Azkaban
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  • 09
    Photo caption - "Just then, Neville caused a slight diversion by turning into a large canary." The Goblet of Fire
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  • 10
    Text - "Oh Professor look! I think I found an unaspected planet! Oooh, which one's that, Professor?" "It is Uranus, my dear," said Professor Trelawney peering down a the chart. "Can I have a look at Uranus t0o, Lavender?" said Ron. - The Goblet of Fire
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  • 11
    Photo caption - "And from now on, I don't care if my tea leaves spell out die, Ron, die-I'm just chucking them in the bin where they belong." The Order of the Phoenix
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  • 12
    Photo caption - "Godfather?" spluttered Uncle Vernon. “You haven't got a godfather!" "Yes, I have," said Harry brightly. LJ“He's a convicted murderer, but he's broken out of wizard prison and he's on the run. He likes to keep in touch with me, though. . Keep up with my news . check I'm happy." - The Prisoner of Azkaban
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  • 13
    Photo caption - IRonl forced Hermione to show Snape her teeth– she was doing her best to hide them with her hands, though this was difficult as they had now grown down past her collar. - Snape looked coldly at Hermione, then said, "I see no difference." The Goblet of Fire
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  • 14
    Text - Lee Jordan was finding it difficult not to take sides. - "So-after that obvious and disgusting bit of cheating-" -"Jordan!" growled Professor McGonagall. - "I mean, after that open and revolting foul-" -"Jordan, I'm warning you-“ - "All right, all right. Flint nearly kills the Gryffindor Seeker, which could happen to anyone I'm sure." - The Philosopher's Stone
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  • 15
    Text - -"He has achieved high marks in all his Defense Against the Dark Arts tests-" -"I'm terribly sorry to have to contradict you, Minerva, but as you will see from my note, Harry has been achieving very poor results in his classes with me." - "I should have made my meaning plainer," said Professor McGonagall, turning at last to look Umbridge directly in her eyes. "He has achieved high marks in all Defense Against the Dark Arts tests set by a competent teacher." - The Order of the Phoenix
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  • 16
    Text - - "Do you remember me telling you we are practicing nonverbal spells, Potter?" - "Yes," said Harry stiffly. - "Yes, sir." - "There's no need to call me 'sir,' Professor." %3D - The Half-Blood Prince
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  • 17
    Text - "Harry witnessed Professor McGonagall walking right past Peeves who was determinedly loosening a crystal chandelier and could have Sworn he heard her tell the poltergeist out of the corner of her mouth, - It unscrews the other way." The Order of the Phoenix
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  • 18
    Photo caption - "For future reference, Harry, it is raspberry.although of course, if I were a Death Eater, I would have been sure to research my own jam preferences before impersonating myself." - The Half-Blood Prince
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  • 19
    Text - "Percy wouldn't recognize a joke if it danced naked in front of him wearing Dobby's tea cozy." - The Goblet of Fire
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  • 20
    Font - We woke up and didn't know where you were! she said breathlessly. She turned and shouted over her shoulder, - Ron! I've found him! Ron's annoyed voice echoed distantly from several floors below. - 'Good! Tell him from me he's a git! - The Deathly Hallows
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  • 21
    Text - But before (Uncle Biliusl went loopy he was the life and soul of the party," said Fred. "He used to down an entire bottle of firewhisky, then run onto the dance floor, hoist up his robes, and start pulling bunches of flowers out of his-" "Yes, he sounds a real charmer," said Hermione, while Harry roared with laughter. "Never married, for some reason," said Ron. - The Deathly Hallows
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  • 22
    Text - "Er-why are you calling that owl Pig?" Harry asked Ron. "Because he's being stupid," said Ginny. "Its proper name is Pigwidgeon." "Yeah, and that's not a stupid name at all," said Ron sarcastically. "Ginny named him," he explained to Harry. "She reckons it's sweet. And I tried to change it, but it was too late, he won't answer to anything else now he's Pig." - The Goblet of Fire
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  • 23
    Text - "Yes - yes, good point, Petunia! What were you doing under our window, boy?" "Listening to the news," said Harry in a resigned voice. His aunt and uncle exchanged looks of outrage. "Listening to the news! Again?" "Well, it changes every day, you see," said Harry. %3D %3D - The Order of the Phoenix %3D
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witty Harry Potter jk rowling hermione granger clever dumbledore funny memes books Ron Weasley sassy funny quotes
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